A spare time dilemma

New Beginings and the boredom of social media

2011-07-17T20:23:00.000-07:00

I have a Google+ invite in my inbox. I haven't signed up yet but someday I might. For a communication professional and a media enthusiast, not being on the Google+ thing spells doom. Not that it affects my earnings, but when I will meet with my fellow communicators at the next happy hour, I will have nothing to contribute about the pros and cons of Google over FB. I won't be able to offer insights into what space is Google filling in exactly, in the social media jungle. No intelligent forecasts about if it will change the social media diet of corporations. I will just have to hold on to my beer glass and listen to the conversation, all the while feeling insecure that I may just be losing my edge.
And as I write this, I am still extremely reluctant to even start exploring what's Google up to next. I suspect that it's not them it's me. Maybe I am just good at beginnings.Maybe I am the type that seeks thrill and passion of the first date but the thought of being together for a while means boredom for me. I started on FB with a ready circle of friends all too willing and happy to share pictures, anecdotes and wisecracks about our daily goings-on. Now I have 200+ friends on FB many of whom I haven't seen in two decades. Time and time again, I have stopped myself from writing updates just because now most of the updates will mean nothing to majority of my "friends". And let's admit there are some updates that don't go up because I don't want it to be seen by people who I now barely know. And so, my relationship with FB is on a downward slope.
"That's exactly why you need to sign on to Google +" my social savvy friend instructed me. "You know, it has circles and it so much better for privacy controls. You ought to try it" he said. And it is a an incentive no doubt, but a weak one. Because to be honest, I am getting exhausted keeping up with sharing and 'friending' and looking at pictures of strangers. I am in the mode of 'just let me be and keep your happy life to yourself'. I long for a simple life where if you wanted to share something, you just emailed your friends list. Friends who aren't just names on your list or tagged faces in photos but the ones whose names can be associated with their sense of humor, their quirks and talents and the ones I can count on to not "comment" on but share my joy and sorrow.
Thanks FB for finding so many friends for me. Don't get me wrong, each and every one of then has had some significance in my life at some point in time. And if not for you, I probably never would have relived so many lost memories. But my life as a mom and a professional is already filled with so many miniscule to-do's that I prefer not to add some extra thinking to the mix.

As for Google+, I won't sign up yet because I don't want it to be my rebound social network. I will be on board when I am ready for a new beginning.

Hair Affair

2011-02-23T11:13:00.001-08:00

This is something I have been struggling with for almost 5 years now. I want my hair back. My 5 year old controls the texture, the oilines, the length,-basically everything about my hair and I want to take back that control.
It all started when she was born. With her tiny hands, she somehow sought out my hair and held it tight in her fist. It was the ultimate natural pacifier. She could be bawling and soon as she had her hands on my hair, she would calm down. It was magic. It was also extremely cute and adorable at first. "Oh how cute! She keeps holding your hair as soon as you pick her up". I admit I am guilty of marginally encouraging the habit. When I would be awake almost for an hour at midnight, trying to get her to sleep and she showed no signs of lying down, I would hand her a few strands and viola! Within a few minutes she was next to me dreaming her baby dreams and sleeping -well, like a baby.
This was then. But now I am just miserable. I can't stand it when I have just shampooed and styled and she runs to me with her hands which have been making little play-doh balls all day and hugs and gently pulls out a few strands from my pony tail so she can hold on to it. But to be fair its not something she does on purpose. She can't help it. She is hardwired for that. After being very forceful and consistent in explaining to her that she had to stop that, I have to say the habit is a bit under control but not completely gone. I am now sufficiently at ease with this that I can think about this a bit lightheartedly. Here are a few of my ideas about what I can do to better protect my hair. Feel free to suggest some more.

1. Wear a helmet when she is around.
2. Go bald
3. Give her a hairy doll as a relplacement hair specimen.
4. Wear a headscarf
5. Tell her that if she pulls my hair, I am going to pull hers.
6. Hand her over to her dad and tell her that dad has better hair.

Eve Ensler's "I am an emotional creature"

2010-07-13T13:01:00.000-07:00

Afer a long break, here is a post just for sharing Eve Ensler's poem that I recently heard on TED.com. I loved it, hope you will like it too!

I AM AN EMOTIONAL CREATURE
I love being a girl.
I can feel what you're feeling as you're feeling it inside the feeling before.
I am an emotional creature.

Things do not come to me as intellectual theories or hard-shaped ideas.
They pulse through my organs and legs and burn up my ears.
I know when your girlfriend's really pissed off even though she appears to give you what you want.
I know when a storm is coming.
I can feel the invisible stirrings in the air.
I can tell you he won't call back.
It's a vibe I share.
I am an emotional creature.

I love that I do not take things lightly.
Everything is intense to me.
The way I walk in the street.
The way my mother wakes me up.
The way I hear bad news.
The way it's unbearable when I lose.
I am an emotional creature.

I am connected to everything and everyone.
I was born like that.
Don't you dare say all negative that it's a teenage thing or it's only only because I'm a girl.
These feelings make me better.
They make me ready. They make me present. They make me strong.
I am an emotional creature.

There is a particular way of knowing.
It's like the older women somehow forgot.
I rejoice that it's still in my body.
I know when the coconut's about to fall.
I know that we've pushed the earth too far.
I know my father isn't coming back.
That no one's prepared for the fire.
I know that lipstick means more than show.
I know that boys feel super-insecure and so-called terrorists are made, not born.
I know that one kiss can takeaway all my decision-making ability and sometimes, you know, it should.
This is not extreme.
It's a girl thing.
What we would all be if the big door inside us flew open.
Don't tell me not to cry.
To calm it down
Not to be so extreme
To be reasonable.
I am an emotional creature.

It's how the earth got made.
How the wind continues to pollinate.
You don't tell the Atlantic ocean to behave.
I am an emotional creature.

Why would you want to shut me down or turn me off?
I am your remaining memory.
I am connecting you to your source.
Nothing's been diluted.
Nothing's leaked out.
I can take you back.
I love that I can feel the inside of the feelings in you, even if it stops my life even if it hurts too much or takes me off track even if it breaks my heart.
It makes me responsible.

I am an emotional I am an emotional, devotional, unconditional, creature.
And I love, hear me, love love love being a girl.

Eve Ensler, a playwright and activist, is the founder of V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women and girls.

On dressing business casual

2010-02-24T22:20:00.001-08:00

My co-worker Mark and I had a discussion on work attire. My workplace is a casual attire workplace. Some people kinda take it to the extreme and walk in with flip-flops and shorts over the usual jeans and t-shirt which is generally the most accepted version of business casual. Without really thinking about it, I tend to wear formal clothes. Slacks, scarves and sometimes even jackets. When Mark noted that aloud today, I uncovered my thought process.

Oregon weather is not exactly what you would call-cheerful. It is mostly glum with dark clouds hanging over you. It makes it harder for people to be excited about the day in the morning. Add to that the routine drudgery of the grey office environment and all you see for a 8 hour workday is an endless river of time with gloom written on each drop with big letters. If I don't dress smart in this environment, I am only adding to the melancholy of my surroundings. The only thing that prevents me from being a slob that rolls into the office at 8 and out of it at 5, is the simple act of deciding "so what should I wear today"? If I don't dress smart, I don't feel smart. Not to mention, for all the liberties that a modern workplace allows us with its tolerance for casual, being the best dressed person in a room will be extremely helpful in your opinions being heard seriously, especially if that room is full of highly opinionated folks who are much senior to you.

As a side note, a quick story about my friend who, like me, wears formal clothes to her new contracting job- After spending almost 6 years interacting mostly with people in diapers a.k.a her kids, she recently got a great opportunity at Nike. On the first day of work, her manager informed her that she should feel free to wear jeans and sneakers (Nike sneakers of course) as they are a casual workplace. Although my friend nodded at the comment, she later told me that she has gone on a full-on wardrobe makeover and will now dress in nothing but branded designer businesswear and high heels. She has spent most of the last few years in her sweatpants and bunny slippers and she is not interested in taking advantage of the 'casual dress' privileges. To each their own!!

Will the real (normal) woman (on TV) please stand up?

2010-02-19T19:02:00.000-08:00

As Non-resident Indian parents of a US born 3 year old, we are very conscientious of passing along our culture and language to our daughter. This involves talking to her in Marathi at home, having regular phone conversations in Marathi with her grandparents, celebrating Diwali, Ganpati, Rakhi and other festivities and having a generous wardrobe of Indian clothes for her to wear. Lately we stumbled upon an Internet TV site that lets us watch Marathi soaps on our TV. Although we are not much of TV lovers, we loved having Marathi sounds on TV in the evening. Our daughter surprisingly loved some dance programming on the channel and now we regularly switch to our Lingua Francua on TV in the evenings.

I once read a book where the author compared soap operas to bubble bath. You soak in them. You get absorbed in them. Watching them provides a few moments of stress-free activity for your brain. I, on the other hand cannot help analyzing the characters, their dialogues and even their wardrobes. I look for representations particular to the society the stories are set in. There was a time in my life when I followed Desperate Housewives; Occasionally relished the convoluted storylines of beautiful people in General hospital, Bold and Beautiful and other American soaps. I sometimes still do. And here is my analysis for the portrayal of women in these shows.

At the onset, let me say that India and US being two extremes when it comes to culture, it is no surprise that attitudes of women and their place in the society differs greatly. And media being the perfect barometer, it accurately brings out these differences- only in a ‘larger than life’ size. I watch American soaps full of gorgeous women with perfect facial features, porcelain skin and western- style, figure-hugging, cleavage-showing outfits. They may be portrayed as moms, girlfriends, vamps, businesswomen, all with an unabashed display of their womanly desires, mostly sexual, confident yet inexplicably insecure; articulate yet silly. The interaction of all these gorgeous men and women inevitably results in a myriad network of folks who are all romantically involved in often times incestuous relationships. Of course the side storylines of kidnapped babies, ginormous money making deals and blackmails all exist, but the pervasive theme is the sexual tension between characters. And women are mostly just shown to be either needy, insecure beings always worried about finding love or as villainous, scheming pathogens always plotting to suck the joy out of other womens’ life. One would think there are no American women-professionals and mothers- working hard to bring peace and harmony to their homes. There are so many women who craft, sew, cook, shop and have baby showers or are successful doctors, lawyers, engineers struggling to balance family and work. There are smart girls in the US who have goals for education and at the same time have tons of fun going out with friends and hanging out at dance clubs. Not to mention, they also want loving boyfriends or husbands but that’s not the only thing they want! Where are these women?

On the other end of the spectrum, there are the Indian television women- gorgeous, sari clad, covered with jewels and with all the symbols of matrimony or lack thereof. Here the pervasive theme is not sexuality but victimization- of women by men and mostly by women. Untouched by modernity, Indian TV women are rarely professionals. They are mostly housewives or girls-next door. They are torn in an eternal struggle of pleasing everybody in the family and taking care of them. Mostly sacrificial lambs ready to lay their lives for their husband and children, they are scheming and vicious mothers-in-law, sisters-in-law and mistresses who are only planning on poisoning somebody. In real life, for all their love of traditions, Indian women are smart women who have made tremendous strides over the last few decades. They are in every field working side by side with men, dating, going out and having fun with girlfriends and boyfriends. I for one, think that they have done a great job balancing the age old traditions with new world possibilities. They dress in jeans and skirts. They color their hair, wear high heels and have fixed ideas about their life-partners and still are very rooted - very Indian. Individuality and independent thinking which is completely absent in Indian TV women is plentiful in the real-life women. Why don’t I see these women on TV?

Media may well be a heightened reality but I think women are not being done justice here. I want to see normal, real women with desires and insecurities and struggles that I go through everyday. The advertisements have caught on, but why not the shows?

Will the real woman please stand up?
(PS: For those who care to read what I write, this post comes after a long period of hibernation. Just goes to prove that I am a normal (!) woman who does not find time even to do her most favorite thing in the world-write).

The new Mary

2009-03-12T10:53:00.000-07:00

Little one is a little over the top in her attitude. She is at an age (3) where she has no doubt that the world revolves around her and momma and dadda exist to take care of her. She also doesn't doubt that she has all the words right when she sings her nursery rhymes.

We have a CD of nursery rhymes in our car stereo. It never comes out. It only keeps playing over and over again when we are in the car. Even if the car has just hubby and I in it, we forget that we can actually change the CD and listen to our own songs. One of her favorite songs from the CD is 'Mary had a little lamb'. Lately she has been singing it aloud. Only with a twist. She sings it as-"Mary had a little man, little man, little man....."

I am not going to correct her. It is my daily dose of humor in the morning.

I am trying to be a professional here...

2009-02-26T12:17:00.000-08:00

Work, kid and school. These are only a few of the million things that have kept me away from my blog for a long time. Today, I have a rare afternoon all to myself; and after reading all the gossip about oscars and slumdog millionaire and the octuplet mom, I decided that maybe writing something will be a more useful way to spend my time.

Work has been running its own smooth course for past few weeks. That's the way we like it at a financial institution these days-no excitement. Although, the most routine day sometimes brings its own little surprises that shake things up and provide a human touch to a very guideline-driven day.

Members at our credit union often set passwords on their accounts for additional security. I am always fascinated by the choice of passwords people make. They do get me thinking about the reasoning, or the special relationship people might have with the words they pick. Why does somebody pick 'turtle' and somebody else, 'mac attack'? But this one was a winner. A senior citizen who looked unusually happy for his age, came up to me. I looked up his account and burst into uncontrollable, but suppressed laughter when I read his password-"Two old farts". I asked him and he said it aloud- without hesitation, a mischievous smile on his wrinkled face. At this point, I was trying to think of excuses to go back in the break room and laugh a big laugh to let it all out!!
Of course I didn't; but I could not help smiling. "That's my wife's idea"- the gentleman said, smiling again. "I am sure she will say it's yours" I replied. The gentleman laughed a good-natured laugh and we both said our good byes.

I enjoy, but I don't understand

2008-09-17T14:22:00.000-07:00

I have been watching EURO news lately. It feeds my appetite for international news which is hard to find on CNN, NBC, CBS, Fox and others. I am fascinated by a lot of things that happen in this world. The greatest mystery is the human being. Each one is different.

The other day, I watched this story about a former successful theatre dancer/ performer/ choregrapher who dances in the city center of some European city (could be Paris), everyday, for a lot of hours, for so many months now. The location of his performance is not particularly conducive to performing arts. It seems it is just a regular commercial area filled with mundane, gray, concrete buildings. And there in the middle of it, this man, tall and fit-like an athlete, performs his ballet-like, smooth and graceful movements with such intensity that you will not doubt his sense of purpose.
If you are thinking he is a nutcase, it doesn't seem like it. When interviewed, he explained that he wanted to release the art of dance from the cloistered environments of theatre. He wanted to liberate it from tickets, seats, shows and publicity. He wanted to bring some animation and poetry to the dull city center.

Imagine that. Performing in a square, with no visible financial rewards nor a crowd, just for poetry's sake. I enjoy the randomness of this activity. I appreciate the courage of belief and the eccentricity. I just don't understand it. I don't think I ever will.

Being green

2008-07-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

I cleaned out the worst kitchen cabinet of my house today. This one had tupperware, empty glass bottles, plastic takeout containers and all such impossibly non-biodegradable stuff. This time, it was imperative to throw out some of this junk. I have absolutely no idea how I collected this pile of useless plastic over the years; but today, I threw it out. I put it all in a plastic trash bag, sighed, and dumped it in the trash can! There…that’s my contribution to trashing the earth.

I am justifying this act by reminding myself that I am usually pretty good to the environment. I carry reusable bags, I don’t buy a lot of plastic stuff, I don’t buy bottled water and I limit my use of paper towels, Clorox wipes etc. But, interestingly enough, I wasn’t always like this. And I don’t mean I wasn’t environmentally conscious, I mean that I never created this much trash before. I grew up in India and somehow, in India, being green is not such a big lifestyle change. In India we have been green all along without knowing it.

Let me see. In India, we don’t use toilet paper so a lot of trees are left alone right there. Like so many of my friends, I wore hand me down clothes of my older cousins, in addition to my new clothes. (And I never ever thought this was uncool). Once I outgrew them, my mom either gave them away to the maid’s children or tore them and turned them into grocery bags or cleaning rags. My skirts and jeans still live on as hardy multipurpose bags. We hardly ever did takeouts so a lot less plastic containers right there. Nobody around me ever felt the need to ‘carry’ their ‘beverages’ because we mostly drank tea at the roadside sheds in tiny glasses. So, we didn’t have to deal with the problem of recycling beverage containers.

Somehow, the system was set up so that it organically took care of the trash creation, it’s reuse and recycle. When I see senior citizens here carrying fancy reusable bags, I am reminded of our neighborhood grandpa in India who for maybe 100 years went out for groceries at 8 every morning carrying his trademark blue cloth bag.This is my history with reuse, recycle.

So how did I get into this situation where I am guilting myself every minute over the last trash dump? Let me take the easy way out and blame it on the ‘system’. US is a land of opportunities. It doesn’t hold back on that even when it means ‘opportunities to create garbage’, and I am making full use of those too.

A poem by Taylor Mali-The best ever

2008-07-17T00:02:00.000-07:00

Totally, like whatever..you know?

In case you hadn't noticed,
it has somehow become uncool
to sound like you know what you're talking about?
Or believe strongly in what you're saying?
Invisible question marks and parenthetical (you know?)'s
have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences?
Even when those sentences aren't, like, questions? You know?

Declarative sentences -- so-called
because they used to, like, DECLARE things to be true
as opposed to other things which were, like, not -
have been infected by a totally hip
and tragically cool interrogative tone? You know?
Like, don't think I'm uncool just because I've noticed this;
this is just like the word on the street, you know? I
t's like what I've heard? I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions, okay?
I'm just inviting you to join me in my uncertainty?

What has happened to our conviction?
Where are the limbs out on which we once walked?
Have they been, like, chopped downwith the rest of the rain forest?
Or do we have, like, nothing to say?
Has society become so, like, totally... I mean absolutely... You know?
That we've just gotten to the point where it's just, like...
whatever!

And so actually our disarticulation... ness
is just a clever sort of... thing
to disguise the fact that we've become
the most aggressively inarticulate generation to come along since...
you know, a long, long time ago!

I entreat you, I implore you, I exhort you,
I challenge you: To speak with conviction.
To say what you believe in a manner that bespeaks
the determination with which you believe it.
Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker,
it is not enough these days to simply QUESTION AUTHORITY.
You have to speak with it, too.

must.... keep...twittering

2008-06-04T21:57:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite movies is 'Crash'. I like the opening dialogue where Don Cheadle says "In real cities, people bump into each other, brush past. But in LA, nobody touches anybody. We are always behind this glass and metal. I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just to feel something".

I am wondering if the world has started turning into a big LA. And if that is true, I think we have begun crashing. We are living in an increasingly tell-all world. We blog, twitter, social network, put up our videos and pictures on the Internet for the world to see. We spend hours on Facebook, Myspace, LinkedIn, Orkut. They all give us a chance to tell the world- 'This is who I am. This is what I like. This is what I do'. If thats not enough, we 'twitter' via our blackberrys and our cellphones to keep people updated on what we are doing 'right now'. This voracious appetite of people to consume every minute and personal and mostly useless information about other people is something we didn't know existed. Interestingly enough, for every person who writes daily reports of his digestive system and posts it on the Internet, there are 100 people who read it! And post comments!!

Is this a backlash to the culture that technology helped shape in its earlier days? Remember the culture of 'no human touch'? Our calls were starting to get answered by machines so that companies didn't have to pay employees. We started checking out our own stuff at the grocery stores. We stopped going to the store everytime to shop and even to the office to work because we could do it over the computer in our bedroom. We started missing that human touch so much that we crashed into each other by supplying endless updates about our personal lives to all people we knew and sometimes didn't know.

There is a website called postsecret.com which presents scans of postcards sent by people from all over the world with their secrets written on them. Some are funny and innocent but some are way too personal and dark to the point that they are disturbing. Why do people do it? Obviously there are a lot of secrets in the world that people want to get off their collective chest. Are the days of 'skeletons in the closet' gone? Just because now its okay to display dead bodies for the world to see?

Ride the change

2008-01-30T13:25:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6nRy4deoK8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz4pVypsc9I

There is one word that defines India these days-change. And you might have heard and read about this everywhere and I am sure you have felt it as well. I for one, have noticed this more than ever during my trip this December. It could be because I traveled through three major cities this time. Kolkata, Mumbai and Delhi. Add Gurgaon and Pune and I have traversed the landscape that has undergone major transformations in the last 10 years.
This change is profound and deep and it is here to stay. And it shows at the airports, in dresses people wear, in ways people shop and spend, and it shows in Bollywood. In its own box-office ruled world, Bollywood is trying its best to be rational. Have you seen Om Shanti Om? You might have loved it or hated it. Either ways, you have to agree that Om Shanti Om is a tongue in cheek comment on Bollywood while being a quintessentially mainstream Bollywood film. Remember the days, when films were unapologetically and unrealistically melodramatic? There would be no explanation offered as to why there were so many dancers at the back? How did the lead actors fall in love-right away? Why didthey dance and change clothes?It just was that way. Thats a Bollywood film. Don't ask these questions.

What a clever film Om Shanti Om is...it still sneaks in that outrageous song dard-e-disco but it still answers to its sensible audience; It is a dream song in a bollywood film! Get it? Have you seen Jab We Met? While being a typical Bollywood film it still has some element of rationality to it. Girl and boy meet-but do not fall in love right away. They dance but not for proclaiming their love. They do fall in love- but not without giving us every reason to believe why and how they did. It is only natural that a film like 'Chak de' will do well at this time. Hire a bankable box-office star-Shahrukh and cash in on the element of hope and winning. Perfect recipe for success.
I am a media buff and now I study it formally. And I have noticed some interesting developments in Indian media. Seen the ad by Jet airways? 'We have changed'. Kingfisher- that red hot airline shot back with its own banner ad-'We made them change'. Ever seen the ad by Canara Bank? 'We all change for our own people'. What do you think is the emotional hook that most of the ads offer these days? It is progress, change. Think of the reliance ad-'Power on India on' The visual is about movement, it is about getting to work and moving ahead. Think about the Times of India's Lead India campaign. And the most interesting part is, that this change is carried forward by women-more than men. Think of the new Kinetic smart ad with Bipasha Basu. It talks to the new Indian girl. She is not girly like a doll. No more pink and bubbly. Did you hear what she asks at the end? 'Tayyar hai, to ride the change'?
Advertising is unarguably the most sensitive barometer of understanding a society. It is not a coincidence that these ads are appearing at a time when everything in India is growing, changing. They are not just giving a mere slogan. The ads are up there because that is what is happening.

In his book 'Micro trends' -the small forces behind tomorrow's big changes'; the author Mark Penn includes a chapter titled "Rise of the Indian woman". Do I need to say more?Have I made my case?

Kindle or not to Kindle

2007-11-24T00:05:00.000-08:00

I am not talking about fire or flame. For those of you who haven't heard, Kindle is Amazon (.com)'s latest feather in the cap. The hand held device on which you can store and read as many as two hundred books, blogs, newspapers and magazines. The unique thing that differentiates kindle from your ipod or blackberry is that it has a book-like screen with special digitized ink. You will feel like you are reading print on paper. It is pretty light ; about the size of a small paperback and will make your pocket lighter by about four hundred dollars. In Jeff Bezos' words, you can curl up on the sofa with it, just like you would with a book.

Now, the question is, should I or should I not buy kindle? If I haven't said it enough, let me say again that I love books! I am a book-worm, book-fanatic and a book-collector. Kindle should make me feel like I struck gold-mine. Just imagine the possibilities. I can read new, old, even out of print books any time and anywhere I want. Recharge it once a week and go crazy reading! (thats my idea of having a wild time....what a nerd...some may think).

Unfortunately, I adopt to technologies because I have to ; not because I want to. I like to know whats the latest in technology, but that doesn't mean I easily sail into its folds. I often forget to charge my phone. I don't use the ipod I have, because I tend to shrink away from that downloading, charging thing. I would do it, you know, hesitantly. So, if technology now creeps into my reading, I am out of my comfort zone. And books are not just print on paper you know, I would poetically argue that they are much more advanced than Kindle. They can even record emotions. I cherish a pile of books that my brother gifted me on my wedding. I remember every book I read on my long flights to India and back. The memories of that trip and that flight spring up when I see those books. And the beaten up copy of 'Les miserables' that I picked up in Paris takes me 'dernier' to the streets of my favorite city. How can an electronic screen ever have authentic french notes in the side margins written with a red pen?
And most of all, I use my bookshelf and my books to reassure myself from time to time of how cool, civilized and knowledgable I am, depending on the emotional state of mind at the time. Everybody needs an ego massage every now and then!

Yet, there is a remote possibility that I might actually become one of those kindle people. I might take it on a flight with me. But if it starts raining and I have nothing to do, then I would rather do my reading just like it has been done for centuries- with a book.

Diwali-US style

2007-11-08T23:54:00.000-08:00

There hasn't been much spare time lately and hence, no spare time dilemmas. But, today it is Diwali day. The time to get together, light lamps, eat and be merry. And I had to get online and be reunited with my 'reader' friends. So, Happy Diwali and a prosperous new year.
This post is not going to be big. It is just an excuse to reminisce the Diwalis of the good old days. But, it is mostly about the new avtaar of Diwali that I now worship.
I got into the Diwali spirit this time. Really. I lighted two tea lights and cleaned up the house a little bit. In the absence of crackers, rangoli, lantern and the general spirit of Diwali, I still managed to feel like I was celebrating. I opened the box of goodies that was sent from India. It really was Diwali in a box. Sweets, chaklis and ladoos and two arty lamps. It unleashed celebratory spirit like you won't imagine. I could almost hear the frying pan sizzle! I put on new clothes on my daughter and took her to Walgreens. That definitely felt like a visit to a friend. At night, I checked my inbox which was gradually gathering Happy Diwali emails from friends and family. I saw the pictures of lit lamps arranged in a swastika and it rekindled all the memories. I fished for a really good Diwali-ish image of lamps and composed an email and sent it away to one and all. I really do feel that in between classes, homework, laundry and dishes and daycare, I made some room for Diwali. The lamp is lit. Happy Diwali to all of you!!!

The Potter party

2007-07-22T15:10:00.000-07:00

It is the evening of 20th July 2007. I, along with hundreds and thousands of 'muggles'(non-magic people) across the world are full of anticipation. The seventh book is going to be out. I already have mixed feelings about this final instalment of the Harry saga. On one hand, I can't wait to read this final book. I know it is going to be grand, dark, edgy, with a nail-biting climax and, literally, full of magic. On the other hand, I know that it is going to be heart-wrenching, sad. The shadow of death will loom large on Hogwarts and I won't be able to bring myself to read all that. I will keep wishing I never have to read this book because of the tragedies that I know will fill the pages. But again, I have to read it!!!!

I go to Powells books. Like every other bookstore in America it has literally thousands and thousands of books. There are comfortable lounge chairs and a quaint coffee shop. You can sit here, pick a book and spend the whole day reading. And then the good news is you can walk out without buying anything and still not worry a bit about the staff glaring at you. This is the one thing that makes me feel glad I live in the US.
But, on the said evening, Powells is a completely different place. It has witches, wizards, bespectacled 'Harry's and Hermoines all over. People are sitting on the floor, in between the aisles waiting in the line that snakes along all the aisles and seems endless. There is an ongoing 'sorting' ceremony. And people are finding out if they are in Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw or the dreaded Slytherin. I stand in line with Anika-my 17 month old daughter. We have the hat tell us where we belong. We also get little badges to stick on our clothes. By this time, we are all feeling the magic. The excitement and the energy is level is so high that we decide to do some store-hopping.

We go to Barnes and Noble Booksellers. The party here is noisier and much more crowded. It is almost 10 minutes to 12 and books are scheduled to go on sale at the stroke of midnight. People have been in the line since early evening. I spot quite a few 'Harry's, a Prof, Trelawney and also a 'Snape'. There are plenty of black capes with hoods and painted scars. Behind the counter the employees are getting jittery with the anticipation of the frenzy. We are just standing in the crowd taking in this amazing scene. I am awfully glad to be a part of this-I keep thinking. I feel bad for the people-who I know, have staunchly refused to read these books. This whole scene will be completely lost on them. They won't know an elf from a goblin. And that, I feel is very sad. As I am thinking this, the crowd starts counting down. 5,4,3,2 and a big 'yayy' and glitter bursts all over and the employees behind the couter tear open the tapes and the first in line gets his magical copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Total chaos reigns and as the other books just sit there on the shelves completely neglected, Harry Potter copies just keep getting raised in the air and waved. Pictures are being taken with the book in hand like it were a prized trophy and the evening reaches its climax.

I am always very skeptical of commercialization of any kind. I always have felt that here in the United states, every event like wedding, having a baby, mothers day, fathers day ,Christmas, Easter gets completely overwhelmed by the over the top marketing that surrounds these events. The festivities seem to become more about buying, shopping, must-have merchandise than the simple, loving gestures. I know that a lot of my American friends feel the same. The release of Harry Potter book is also one of the greatest marketing success stories. If you think about it, reading is one of the most solitary and long recreational activities. It always will be. So, a party about a book is over once people get the book. Then it is just a matter of finding a quiet spot and reading-all by yourself. But, nevertheless the anticipation is fun and definitely a reason to party-especially when it is a a Harry Potter book. I have loved reading these books so much that just this once, I don't mind the consumerist hype. I thought it just refelcted my excitement. And if, in the end, it only makes people, especially kids, want to read more, then I think all this crazy promotion may be just the right thing to do.

2007-06-10T23:48:00.000-07:00

For the last five years that I spent in America, I have been trying to study the Americans. They are a curious bunch. Being from India, there are somethings which of course clash against my Indian values, but there are the minor quirks, eccentricities that I amuse myself with more. They say America is the land of opportunities. It is, for people who are not on a spouse visa like me. A dependent visa status means you cannot work in this country. So,I have all the opportunities in the world in front of my eyes but its illegal for me to grab them. So, I tend to like it more when they say America is a land of clean bathrooms and signage.
Go hiking on a mountain, and at the summit, there is a high chance you will find a 'restroom' stocked with toilet paper and soap. For a person who grew up in India, this is a luxury and a true sign of a developed country. And signage. There will be an arrow, telling you where the restroom is. If one booth is unusable, there will be a note on the door that says 'out of order'. If the floors in the supermarket are wet, "Piso mojado" or "wet floor". This level of prompt signage is hard to find even in Mumbai Airport. For my readers, let me say, I am not writing this to expose the chaos in India, I am writing this to highlight the efficiency and the underlying fear of lawsuits in America. These little things that my American friends take for granted are considered perks in the developing world.
You may have read that there are more obese people in America than anywhere in the world. But, I keep marveling as to how this can be true when Americans , according to me are the most enthusiastic joggers, hikers, bicyclists than anybody else in the world.It is completely normal for an American to go running just before the lunch hour at work. The weather could be freezing and it is not impossible to see some cyclist zipping by in the bicycle lane with his fluorescent outfit and a headlight. One time, in the mountains of Italy, our friends were taking a tour of the wineries and met two senior American women climbing up the hill with their backpacks. As they chatted, they asked the women which wines they had tasted. "We are stayng away from wine" they said. "Thats because we are hiking our way to the wineries." I don't know why they endure these hardships. Maybe its all that gear they can buy for their outings.
Americans are also the most enthusiastic shoppers in the world. They celebrate all their festivals by shopping for it. I can't blame them. Just look at the things they can buy! Nike, Reebok, Ralph Lauren, Gucci, Prada, Saks.You name it. Just walk into those picture perfect stores, and tell me you are not mesmerized. From head to toe, from suits to undergarments, from picture frames to Electronics all the products are a work of art. And they could be on sale too!!And they have made buying so easy. Spacious fitting rooms, customer service with a smile and credit cards and no hassle returns! yippee!
Like I said earlier, they are a curious bunch, these Americans. On one hand, they are the most self -involved, consumerist society on earth. But on the other hand they are also the most helpful and kind. They are givers. I have continued to admire their willingness to volunteer and donate.They are also extremely non-judgemental. A woman or a man, can sit in a coffee shop doing nothing but drinking coffee and he or she will not be stared at. Try doing that anywhere in India. After some time, you will either be asked to make room for other customers if its a crowded place, or else, you will be stared at like a museum exhibit. This freedom that America bestows on you can be very liberating. But, on the flip side, it can also make you feel disconnected.

-----to be continued-------------

The reader

2007-05-02T23:02:00.000-07:00

I do not exactly remember when I started to read. It was as if I was born with the ability to read. I carry genes that make me a compulsive reader. I just see letters everywhere and therefore can't help reading all the time. This could have been a serious disorder in my mother's book had she not seen my father, and my grandfather and her own mother having the same obsessive reading habit. My early memory of the first tiff I had with my mom was about books-as you might guess. She wanted me to go out and play with the other kids instead of sitting with my nose buried in a book."This is not what you are supposed to do" she said. "This is the age when you should play outdoors just like the other kids".She successfully turned me into a district level basketball player who also loved to read. Since my evenings were spent playing basketball, I used to eat my dinner with eyes fixated on the pages of some Nancy Drew novel. As mother struggled to get done with the household chores and cooking, she would warn again and again to take away the book if Ididn't keep it down. But,I only heard her voice as a faint, distant murmur.

If you are thinking I was reading books and therefore was becoming smarter day by day, then you are wrong. See, I read like an addict. It doesn't matter where the letters come from.When I travel in local trains. I read all the advertisements in the ladies compartment.About, unwanted growths in unmentionable parts of the body, safe abortion, condoms etc.When I hang out at the train door, I read the anouncements, advertisements written on the walls that line the slums. I read the names of stores and their addresses written on plastic shopping bags carried by fellow passengers. I read the train arrival departure electric boards. When on road, I read the names of the shops that line the road, the bus stop names. I try to read the newspaper other people are reading if I am standing and cannot read my own book. I even read the the newspaper they serve the bhel in.

Obsessive readers like me can spend a whole day in a bookstore and want to come back the next day. I was in Los Angeles one time faced with the task of spending the whole day by myself, without a car. I found a Borders bookstore near my hotel and I was absolutely ecstatic. I was like a greedy,hungry ant who found a mound of sugar!(I prefer this one than 'a kid in the candy store') Needless to say, I had no problem keeping busy fo rthe rest of the day. A lot of times, after walking into these huge bookstores, I am overwhelmed. I also feel a sense of urgency. "How am I going to read all this in this lifetime?"It is as if its my job to do justice to every printed page!

One of my favorite quotes about reading, is by Gilbert Chestorton-the prolific English writer He said: "The mere brute pleasure of reading --the sort of pleasure a cow must have in grazing." What is this obsession with reading? After living here on this planet for 30 years and after taking in all the good and bad things this life has offered, I think I might be a little close to understanding what this is about.

Sometimes, its about escape.Its about taking a trip to a different place without moving an inch. And that too,in an instant. They say reading is travelling-which happens to be my other favorite thing.But, reading is evolved travelling. Its not only a trip to a differnt place, but it could also be traveling to a different time. You can dive in the past, sprint into the future. You can even enter somebody else's mind and in doing so, explore your own thoughts.It lets you stretch your imagination. It helps you colour your dreams, one page at a time. So, I could be sitting in a crazily overcrowded, sweaty and hot Mumbai local train, but in my mind, I am roaming the streets of Paris and cruising down the Seine.

Sometimes, reading is just necessary to see in print, in words the abstract emotions that swirl through your mind.One time in Hana, Hawaii,I was in a perfect little room overlooking the perfect beach with perfectly pleasant breeze. I sat in the easy chair waiting for the sunset which was probably an hour away.And all I wanted to do was read.I wanted to feel whole.For me, it was coming full circle. When I am surrounded on the outside by the wonderful things I always desired, I need to be in a perfect mental state of tranquility.I can only reach that perfect place with the help of a book.Only then, I come full circle. Reading is to me what meditating must be for the enlightened ones.

Long live the words and the writers who write!